when i come home after being gone a long while, sometimes i wonder how all of the crazy ideas and dreams that are inside of my head ever got there in the first place. my head doesn't seem to coincide with my surroundings, and yet i let myself become blended into the world around me, barely raising my hand with a question. but it's summer, and the living's easy i suppose. summer has made me scared of the people around these parts, customers who are bitter and eager to complain, corporations who need poor little "part-timers" to sell their high-priced socks in order to meet company standards. was it always like this? or have things just progressed? or i was just oblivious. either way, it makes me kind of scared of people.
i daydream of lifting my backyard up from its suburban confines and and planting it somewhere where it can breath and grow. maybe a field somewhere, or by some water. it is so prettty and overflowing with green but we really do not spend enough time out here. i daydream of friends laughing inside these fences, swinging from the old rocking chair and someone playing guitar bongos and the like. some older, elderly people should be here too so we can talk about things from a fresh perspective and i can ask why it is that neighbors just don't mow each others lawns, or why exactly we even have grass.
i think i could write a whole book full of daydreams, lives i want to live. and even though writing for me doesn't come easy, writing about a life well lived would still be so much easier than actually living it out. i'm kinda lazy, to be honest. how do spiders have the energy to weave such big webs? or how do ants carry 50 times their weight? when i grow up, i vow not to have air conditioning. because when the house is air conditioned, going outside makes you all sweaty and complainy about the weather, when really it feels so nice being so sticky and alive.
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